Best Worst Idea Ever

I've been away for a while, and I apologize for that.  Now, onto what I need to geek/nerd out for a second... or several.

I recently made a joke, I'm uncertain if it had been to anyone other than myself, about leveling up at my job.  I'm a bartender/server/cook, and more recently I've found I can carry three full glasses in one hand(and not feel like one will fall at any moment).  A few days ago I was thinking about being a bartender, and my brain made a mental comparison to RPG class trait trees.

Seriously though, as nerdy as it is, it's actually kind of fun for me to attempt to translate my job into an RPG system.  So for example I'm multi-classed as a Bartender/Server/BOH(okay to be honest there's maybe a level at least of Manager, and several of Cashier).

What gets more interesting for me is that a lot of the aspects of work can be categorized under skills or abilities, and I can almost imagine class subtypes and archetypes. A simple example is for the Bartender class, whose three trait trees might be Drinkslinging, Mixology, and Tending(guest relations).  Maybe the character takes a Knowledge Skill in a specific type liquor or beer, or a Craft Drink skill.

As ridiculous as I feel making this comparison and diving into it a little, it's also a fun challenge for me to try to craft a system that houses these mechanics.

Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Circumstance, Consistency, and Realization

It's that time again, when I touch on thoughts about why I add my bits of data to the interwebs, and share my thoughts and such.  But first, other things(besides starting with a preposition) -

I recently had the unfortunate circumstance of having an episode of my Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome, and it took me out of commission for four or five days.  The main reason I bring this up is to talk about how I lack much consistency in my posting to social media, and in fact a lot of my life.  If I am to site circumstance as a reason for inconsistency, then it seems I should seek to encourage circumstances which promote consistency and productivity.  There's somewhere this all goes though - Realization

I don't mean if I have a schedule I'm going to be realized, but rather, I might better realize myself and my own potential.  I keep telling myself I need to get a daily routine and structure my life, and each day I keep finding that more and more true.  So am I reminding myself?  Yes.  If you needed a reminder or idea too, sweet boost, it's not a bad thought.

I need to encourage a consistency of circumstance which aids in self-realization.

Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Here's A Thought

Thanks pbsideachannel for the title, but anyways

Every so often I come back to the question of why blog and vlog and such, what are my goals and motivations I guess.  It's kind of fuzzy for me, I'm not entirely certain myself.  As I keep doing it though, I'm learning more and more, especially about myself.  Which might be a side-effect, or part of my motivation, or I dunno.

Here's my thought though - Typing my thoughts and making videos of them and generally attempting to share myself and my ideas, has caused me to spend a lot of time with myself and my ideas, helping me to see them and realize them better(myself included).  I guess in some ways it's a bit of an exploratory process, to see what happens.

Late Night Philosophy

I was up late the other night, as I often am, so I guess I was awake... early the other morning... anyways and I was playing LOTRO and chatting with a kin-mate while the other guy was afk.  He forgot something and I replied -
"As the Elves say, 'Silly humans, forgetting everything.  Eventually how to live as well.'"
I followed up after his lol to mention how dying was actually sometimes referred to as the Gift of Men, since they didn't have to carry their sorrows and troubles for an eternity, forever being bound to Middle-Earth.  The Silmarillion was a fun to read as a fan of fantasy and history, I recommend it for fans looking for a longer read.

Knowing that we die has shaped human culture more than we can reasonably perceive, even if we could break it down and make a list.  Face it, a million is not something we can really grasp, except as a large quantity, with a scale that allows us to compare and contrast.  In the situation of this, how do you really draw a line so you don't just say everything is based on the fact that we die?

I don't know, and that was more of a rhetorical question.  I was reminded of this conversation a little when I was thinking about cancer.  Cancer sucks, and it makes sense to try to defeat it.  When I think about humans as creatures in an ecosystem, I can't help but feel like we disregard any niche and just power forward.  Maybe that's just how humans are so that's how it should be?  Asking these questions don't really provide a helpful answer, almost ever.

I still think it's good to think things in complex ways,
Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Checking In, Updates, and Such

All I really have for you tonight is a blog post, but a blog post with the promise of more to come.  I have tomorrow off, and used my morning to get myself ready to do lots of stuff tomorrow.  So keep an eye out on my YouTube channel, expect some character sketches and drafts on G+(Alturiigo), and hopefully including a surprise from some of my archived(piled in closet or drawer) Visceroth Cluster material.

NaNoWriMo is happening, and while I don't think I'll finish a novel, I've had a story on the backburner and this is as good an excuse as any to work on it.  And work on it I have, through a couple thought-drafts and some sketches(the ones to be on G+).  Anaira Valencia is decidedly the character cast across Aldrin Gant in the story I'm calling "Finding the Sky" as a working title.  This is the "steampunk" story I've been wanting to work on.  The story follows Aldrin Gant, and is told from more or less a limited third-person... I guess you could kind of imagine like a third-person game.

Anaira is a character originally cast in the Visceroth Cluster, as a citizen of the planet Nevus, living in the city of Kinstyr.  She was met in a campaign on the jungle planet of Mure, where she was investigating a company called Pyrcill, which she suspected of producing bioweapons which had caused the local outbreaks.  Upon resolving the investigation of the facility and her goal, she helps the player locate their quest location, and also(can) joins the player's crew.  In the campaign, she also plays a role as a scribe or narrator of sorts, following the player as they uncover... trouble.  Any more than that and you should just play it.

When I started thinking about this story, I wanted a really cool woman to be right there in the main cast, embodying something awesome.  Sorry, I just find that really awesome.  So, not really sorry.  I wasn't sure though how I wanted her to be as a character fully, but I had some ideas.  The phrase "well behaved women rarely make history" is probably well-suited to this character's personality(as a history-maker(writer?)).  I wrote a short bit a while ago as a demo for myself, and was having these thoughts that she might be a journalist or in maybe another way of putting it, a truth-seeker.  Whether she funds herself, has money, works for someone, I'm not fully certain, though, I'm strongly leaning towards freelance.  I realized that this character strongly resembled many of the ideas of Anaira Valencia.

It's not just a recasting of the same character, they rarely ever are, but the inspirations and comparisons I find to be helpful in discovering this character as a new Anaira Valencia.  She has the same beauty mark and they wear their hair similarily, being two examples of inspirations drawn from the design.  In both castings, Anaira wears pants.  I find this especially character driven in this Steampunk casting, since it tends to draws from an older time setting, when it was kind of a big deal for a woman to be a pants-wearer.  I'm not pretending I'm going to write some feminist icon, but I really like this character and she's been fun to get to know and develop.

I'll stop myself here and bid you adieu and good night

Trot On Everypony,

Alturiigo

OH HAI Another One?

Maybe you know this and maybe you don't, but I like to pretend to be creative or artistic or what-have-you, to the point where it's what I do with a lot of my free time.  I draw, I draft up thoughts and arcs and characters and ideas, imagining whole new worlds and... systems I guess.  There's a lot I've already made, and I'm continuously doing something or other, so at this point I'm tired of hoarding all this ideas and stories and characters.  You don't know hardly any of them, and you certainly don't know them as well as I do, but many of the characters and stories have been stewing for years, and there's so much more to them than I ever imagined when I began dreaming up characters, like Spaz the Stickman and Sven "Danger" Kirschtorte.

sfjigmjigrd lrklgdklfkl fk

Is the best answer I can give as to why I bother posting my drawings, blogging, vlogging or generally sharing, since I think it's a messy thing to argue about, people sharing their ideas.  Who even cares what I have to say?  I don't address these questions rightfully, because just trying to answer that seems unproductive.  Why would I do it if I didn't want to do it?  So clearly, this is something that I am personally inclined to do.  I'm digressing.  Anyways, you can also follow me on:
Google+ - Alturiigo
Tumblr - Alturiigo
Twitter - @AdamLese

Trot On Everypony

Thoughts on the Day

As I sit here and listen to Ein Astronaut on YouTube, I've been thinking on the day I had.  It had much suck, but it also showed that life has seems to have a karmic ebb and flow to it.  I'll elaborate, since you should have more context(I'll add that karma isn't really part of my faith, more like the name for a concept.  So as far as my view on its legitimacy... I don't know what to tell you).

My sister and brother-in-law moved into the area, which was swell - except that in doing so I lost my room, and through simply unfortunate events, his move also forced me to transfer work locations.  So yeah, what was something to be happy about brought about a lot of suck, but such is the way of things.

Since moving to this area, my social circle doesn't extend very far out of my coworkers(which I now don't work with), so in some ways I lost contact with many of my established social connections.  Getting transferred to a new store means I have to learn to work with a whole new group of people, and they will be learning me and feeling me out, deciding whether or not they like working with me.  Either way, I try to be helpful since I often think about how nice it is when someone helps me, so I've stayed later for people, and picked up shifts.

The early part of my day was just suck.  I got to work, and found out that instead of be the 2 I was the 3, and I couldn't work all night - because my hours were nearly to overtime, since I had stayed late so often and picked up so many shifts.  Because I had been so willing to help, my work load was lessened and I got to go home earlier than I would have.  Also, for whatever rhyme or reason, most of my coworkers seem to find me to be likable, if not funny, and surprisingly not horrible at singing.  What's my point?  I dunno, just I guess maybe that like the weather, our lives are beautifully intricate systems continuously shifting and shaping themselves, from floods to droughts, storms to sprinkles.

Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Some Old Things I Wrote

I've dabbled in writing, often little bits here or there, about this and that.  If you've been following along, you've probably seen at least one or two bits(like this post).  Some time ago, I wrote a few... monologues I guess.  I guess they were kind of like the character narrating a moment in time.  Here's one of them, I think it was a combination of the beauty of letting go, and deciding what's important to yourself.


I couldn't remember what happened after that moment, the screen faded to black. A touching score moved all to tears, the feel-good moment of the week. My confusion soon sorted into a new understanding. I decided to improvise. "Goodbye." The romantic comedy turned tragedy.  I gave up everything. Damn, nothing never felt so much like something.

This next one was about... I think the phrase would be "modern excessivism" or something.

She looked at me, those eyes that shimmered like the lights on her empty martini glass. Every step a pick up line, confident yet desperate. Each sway of her hips cried for my validation, or any man who would fall into her wake. She stood before me, pouring forth her charm, cascading over me like her designer perfume. When did too much become just enough? This is growing up.

I'll leave it at those, and bid you adieu,
Trot On Everypony, Alturiigo

Why Haven't I Gone Back To School?

I find this to be a good question I ask myself, especially since years of thought on it have only given me a vague sense of my internal forces directing my decision making.  I mean, growing up it always just seemed like something I would do, as much a part of my life and future as going through k-12.  I've always loved learning, about almost anything.  I think the world around us is a fascinating place, filled with amazing and spectacular things.

Another note, this isn't an argument for or against it, merely a presentation of thought.

With the advent of the internet, and a viable means of global sharing and networking, a huge amount of the world's information is at our fingertips.  Once, a person would have to be given access to the material, often through difficult channels.  This is to say, if I wanted to learn about quantum physics, I'd need to pretty much go to school for it to have the materials to learn from.  Yes, educational systems also provide better structures for learning as well, so this is much to their benefit in a comparison to simply looking up the information yourself.  So sure, it seems like in some part I seem disinclined to spend thousands of dollars to learn something.  My love of learning also means that the idea of picking one thing to learn about still seems... daunting?

There's more to it though for me, I'm certain.  I feel a sense of frustration about the notion that I "should go to college" because well, that's just what you do.  As though whether or not I've attended university decides whether or not I'm of much "value" to society.  So am I that stubborn and irrational? Maybe.  Here's a thought though -
I made a choice, a conscious choice to alter my life and experience in a way that was not how I originally saw myself, or how others saw me.  This wasn't (just) childish spite, I'd be a fool if I let that govern my adult life.  It was a choice about they way I would live my life, it governed the people I've met and the things I've done.  Have I impacted a lot of people, or really changed anything?  I guess that depends on your scope.

I've been blessed with meeting many amazing people who have enriched my life, and as it turns out, that's often a mutual thing.  So sure, I didn't end up going to school to study linguistics, or fashion design, or programming, or almost any of the other things that fascinate me.  I was the one making decisions in my life, and every one of them has shaped me into the person I am today.  A person who I am not ashamed to be.

Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Do Dogs Smell In Color?

Sure, that sounds like a pretty silly question, but let me add a little change of context.

This thought occurred to me the other day as I was considering how much better a dog's sense of smell is than a human's.  I couldn't help but think it would suck horribly, I mean consider smelling something rotten, then multiply that.  Not so rad.  Dogs have a very broad "spectrum of smells", let's say, allowing them to also pick out smaller more localized odors, such as a drug dog, or dogs which are trained to identify cancer.

Senses are pretty amazing, since they're actually a process of interpreting an experience or stimuli.  So while we can be ever so sure that red is red... there are other humans out there which see something different.  If that was what they learned to be red, then it would all be peachy-keen(well for the most part).  So we see in colors, a broad spectrum in which we are able to distinguish between very small differences in wavelengths of light and their interactions with our eyes.  Your nose works in a similar way, reacting to molecules and generating an odor or scent.  Without a nose(the very idea of what a nose represents), things don't have an odor.  Think about it though, seriously.  They don't.

Anyways, my thought is like this; Maybe we can best understand a dog's sense of smell through our understanding of our sense of color and in some ways sight(like using scent to track something).  Which brings me to one of my favorite thoughts -
One sees the world through a lens of oneself, but through We, may one hope to see beyond themselves, and appreciate the beauty of Us.

Alturiigo, minding my T's and Q's

What Does Being A Gamer Mean To Me?

I find this to be an interesting question to ask myself, especially as the "gamer culture" has been growing and changing, or in some ways, resisting change.

So let's back it up a little bit, how do I think about the phrase, "gamer"?  I suppose to me it means some one who both uses games as a major source of entertainment, and identifies as a "gamer".  Kinda circular, huh?  I can't find an immediately obvious way around that.

Personally, I don't only see video games as a source of time-killing amusement, but also as a medium to tell stories and display art.  Some games even take this further and as a player you create things inside the game, and shape your own story as you play.  This is a large part of why I enjoy video games so much, my desire to pretend I live in another world is small; I still enjoy imaging characters in other worlds and realities, and the fantastic stories and adventures that go with them.

All this being said, this is specifically how I view video games, and it doesn't really speak for all gamers.  Also, how I choose to express myself socially and my beliefs are not the same as all other gamers.  This has been made pretty obvious to me by a review of GTA V that seemed to light gamer-trolls up in a fury.  Why? Because a woman reviewed it and gave it "ONLY A 9 OUT OF 10!?!?!?" and mentioned also that it didn't do a very good job of including and portraying women(EDIT:No one really expected it to, but it's still something to hope and aim for).  I'm still trying to get past to baffled stage of trying to grasp such a strong and violent overreaction.

Anyways, games are great story-telling devices and artistic mediums, and there will be some stories and art I like, and some I don't.  Just like with not-games.  Funny how that is.  We're all different in so many ways, yet we still often use our similarities to try to drive each other apart.

Game On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Oh Adventure

People will be like "Oh you should go out more" and I'm all like "See, I totally go out-"

I ride all around, even, no especially, on starry nights.

And fishing is totally outdoors-y

I caught a glowing fish?

Let's make some stew! Remember, carrots are good

for your eyesight.

I remember learning about how these grow from

rocks.  Isn't nature a wonder?

But it's not always lonely, I have friends and kinsfolk

Here we're celebrating the Farmer's Faire

Sometimes I have dance-offs with Orcs

But mostly I like to go hill-surfing-

When I'm not playing my harp that is.

Adventures in Lord of The Rings Online, with Laerawyn(Minstrel) and Ithulraen(Rune-Keeper), members of the Whispers of Hope

Chapter 1(Intro): Just Another Day

The sun shone down brightly as Aldrin drifted through the City Park, happy to not have a passenger for a moment during this beautiful day.  He took a moment to breathe in deeply before banking off towards the park exit, taking in the clean smell of the air out here on the edges of Crastleton.  The fumes of the factories and ambient pollution of the industrial district were just a far off blemish, across a small city's worth of people and places.

Aldrin hadn't been having a bad day by any means, in fact most of his passengers had been either quiet or polite.  This still didn't stop him from wishing he could just enjoy the day, especially considering how bad his last week had been.  I'm not going home sober... not tonight... he thought to himself, wincing as he remembered the way she said those words, "If you want to do anything for me, just leave me alone."  Fine, you weren't that fantastic either...

After making his way slightly into a more occupied part of the city, Aldrin parked his cab and let the machine idle in a near-ready position.  He soon slipped into thought about his recent troubles, drowning out the electric hums and hisses of steam as Crastleton around him bustled with life, but more so, energy.  The city was one of the more developed cities, having taken great strides in harnessing the powers of steam and electricity to produce many modern wonders, like the FloatCabs he himself piloted.

FloatCabs were low-flying vehicles typically holding three to four occupants, often kept near a hovering altitude, but not limited to roads nor placing stress upon them.  These were in fact one of the older innovations that came from Crastleton, often known for trying to "better people's lives".  Aldrin didn't consider the Administration very highly, though it would be hard to argue that life there wasn't pretty easy.

A movement to his right caught his attention, pulling Aldrin from his reverie sharply to see a well-dressed woman part-way through her third decade, quite nearly sprinting towards his cab.  She seemed to have began her day well-kept, though the day's events had clearly taken a toll on her intended appearance, with locks of hair falling astray and a general look of... annoyance, perhaps?

The woman pulled open the door and quickly slid herself inside, nearly alarming Aldrin with the alacrity of her movements, despite the cumbersome and pomp dress she wore.  Clearly she was concerned about presenting herself well, but by all signs to Aldrin, something must have gone horribly awry.  Before she had even fully settled into the seat in that motion, she began directing Aldrin, smoothly saying "Drive west and out, with haste sir."  The moment later as she was firmly in her seat she turned to him and looked sternly as she continued, "Time is of the essence."  No sooner had she finished this statement as men wielding shock rifles came storming from the same alley the woman had came so suddenly out of.

Before Aldrin could decide how to react, one of the uniformed men fired his rifle in the direction of the cab, causing the situation to escalate in a heartbeat.  The woman raised her voice a little more and took quite the urgent tone as she said, "Like it or not, you are a part of this.  They can not stop us from showing the truth.  Launch goodman!"  Aldrin throttled his cab and took off in the direction the woman had told him, suddenly forgetting the peacefulness of the day and becoming unwillingly drawn into a violent chase, involving a woman who was rapidly proving to have far more about her than he might have guessed in any other situation.

Life is... Expression?

So here's an interesting way to think about life or existence - spontaneous or instantaneous existence.  Think like saying, all we or anything ever is, is a bunch of atoms and electric currents and other stuff, at any given right meow.  Existence would then be an infinite sequence of infinitesimally small... let's say frames or moments.  Anyways.

I would argue that consciousness, one of the major ideas centered around our thoughts on life and the debate of a soul, is a... vessel of and for expression.  I think those words are about right.  I like this because if you broaden your ideas of expression, you may say that a reaction is an expression of an action, like saying a flower growing is the expression of it's chloroplasts doing their job right.

As far as people go, I find it much more fascinating to apply this lens to, well, anything.  Even in choosing not to speak, act, or react, it is still a form of expression.  Abstinence of something can be an expression towards or about something.  Communication, which is important to all kinds of animals, is about utilizing different means of expressions to convey an idea or invoke an instinct or emotion.

Communication, Expression, and even Perspective(through Expression), are all incredibly intertwined.  So I think it might go something like this - from a need to Communicate, Expression... occurs.  Expression is an interaction between to entities(Expresser and Expressee(even if the Expressee is never truly existent)) and in such gives way to Perspective, which is the lens through which we understand Expressions.

So I guess maybe Existence is Communication, Expression is Life, and Perspective is Consciousness.  I like to think that your Perspective is your personal context applied to your personal experience, as a frame of reference for what you are perceiving(expression you're interpreting).  Anyways, I'll leave it off here and stop the late-night philosophy.

Exist On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Why Some Nametags Say "Team Member"

Also, why I often refer to the place I work at in the first-person plural -

I was watching the Equestria Girls movie, and there was a bit about school spirit.  I got to thinking a little about this, and as I look back on my own past and think about what that concept means to me, it seems like a pretty great notion.  I was in band, and I played pep band - I LOVED playing pep band.  The songs were fun, and having a reason to get together and play the crap out of your instrument wasn't too bad either.  Maybe you don't have that school spirit?  I can understand that.

People have varied interests, so we see it as kind of normal that people group together(speaking in generalities and opinions here) based on similar interests.  Which is cool and great, until those groups stop collaborating, for whatever reason, which may seem and be completely valid.  So what am I getting at?

I think School Spirit(heck let's throw Team Spirit in here too) can be a great and positive tool in seeing beyond one's own interests or goals, and to use them to help others find theirs.  We are all a part of Team Humanity, and have been attending Universe-ity(see what I did there?), so come on show some School Spirit for Team Earth!  WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

GO TEAM EARTH!!!

Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Creativity Bursts

The reason I haven't been posting as much is that I recently started working on a character idea/story of sorts, and when I get a sudden wealth of creativity, I try to make the most out of it.  So... yeah, that's that, and keep an eye out I guess, I'm trying to decide how I'd like to present it, instead of doing like I normally do and just show the bits and such of my drafts.

But honestly, I think it's gonna be pretty cool.

A Scary Thought

I follow SciShow, CrashCourse, and The Brain Scoop, so that's where this is coming from.  A couple things I've recently been informed of were the disappearance of A LOT of honey bees, and the deaths of MANY bats.  According to the Brain Scoop(and honestly I can't help but to see the validity in the thought), we(as a planet) are probably approaching another mass extinction.  This time though, it probably won't be from some major natural disaster(at least not from the root);  Humans will most likely be the primary cause.

Human actions have helped lead to Colony Collapse Disorder, the cause of the vanishing of a majority of honey bee populations.  Studies have been finding increasing reason to believe that many of our pesticides and maybe especially fungicides are causing this problem, in which entire bee colonies seem to just up and... bee gone?

As far as the bats go, this is an American thing(as in North America, not the U.S.(IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT US)), since the fungus which is killing off so many bats(6.7 Million in the last 5 to 6 years) was originally from Europe, where it doesn't really seem to affect the bat population there.  It's likely that people visiting Europe have inadvertently carried the fungus back here to North America, and we all know how bad invasive species can be(BAD.  STOP TRANSPLANTING WILDLIFE PEOPLE COME ON).

Bees are incredible pollinators, and without them it will severely cripple many crops and the ability to grow them, and if we think outside humans... this is gonna be horrible for like, plants everywhere.  Scientists are still trying to find out what is the major causes, and what we can do to stop or slow CCD.  So bats... bats typically eat their weight in insects every night, and also help pollinate and disperse seeds.  Imagine insects(like mosquitoes and all the awesome gifts they give us) running much more rampant(okay so yeah we'd probably just use more insecticides... because that sounds like such a good idea.  COME ON PEOPLE) and not being controlled, spreading disease and eating plants and all that jazz.  The impact of these two creatures dying off on a huge scale has huge implications for ecosystems as a whole.  So the idea that another mass extinction is on the way, is a pretty real and scary thought.

The Brain Scoop on Mass Extinction - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbKtBLDRfwU
SciShow on the Vanishing of Bees - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgc5w-xyQa0
SciShow on the Dying-Off of Bats - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q5oe33M15Q

Who is Alturiigo?

As time progresses, this becomes a more interesting question to me.  There was a character a long time ago for a pen-and-paper game I played which I had named Altur.  Much later, as I was beginning to dream up the Echoes story, I wanted to create another pair of characters for the story, who were another human and spirit who were bonded together.  Remembering the name Altur, I had the thought that maybe the spirit might be Iigo.  Maybe the ghost could help him look different, and that could be his... power?

The thought progressed as the character and the story became a little more developed, to the point where Alturiigo looks a lot more like this(->).
This is image is supposed to something of the two in a fully-bonded or merged state, where Altur's dead-pan/apathetic personality gains Iigo's wicked glint and mischievity.  When I was deciding what should be my PSN name, I figured why not use Alturiigo, since it seemed pretty fitting for a screen name.  So there's a backdrop for you.

Like a nickname, a screen-name is in some ways an aspect of who you are.  While you might be showing your full self, you're at least sharing the aspect of your thoughts(unless you solely plagiarize).  Something I think is interesting about this, is that the more I share as Alturiigo(or through them), the more realized they become as a character, even when being cast in different ways.  My best personal reference for this is that as a gamer, I reuse certain characters across various games, despite different settings and stories.  But I still feel a congruence of character for them.

I don't think I(Adam) have become Alturiigo, or that they are some sort of person outside me, but at the same time, the concept of them has become further dettached from the way I perceive myself.  I believe this is because... well, I'm not entirely sure.  Because it helps me think about things a little differently, and try to think about how I might approach it if I weren't me, but was.  So maybe like to say, if I could partition part of my thoughts to be a little more aloof and less biased(which is pretty much impossible to be rid of).

-Adam... mostly

Creating and Self-Esteem

I often refer to many of my drawings as doodles, and you'll probably never hear me refer to anything I do as art.  I'll take a moment to explain my reasoning for this, and also this is a perspective I have only towards myself, not towards the works and expressions of others.

I would mostly say that I dabble in things, or have various hobbies.  I like to write, but it's never very much; I have "chapters" of a steampunk story I have bouncing around posted in various places.  I draw things because it helps me explore my visual representation of them, in fact when I initially draw a character I don't necessarily know exactly how the will turn out.  A good example of this is Bec and Elara T'Surin.

Almost no given drawing or other thing I've worked on has ever had more than four hours of time spent on it.  I often work simply in pencil or pen, and it's as I'm thinking and creating.  What you see(including posts) is almost entirely unedited, and often is the actual act of the creation.  My vlogs are obviously edited because they would be longer and have plenty more awkward pauses.  I say anyways far more than you may realize.

Anyways, I also would not consider my creations to be of incredible standards, and I feel that that is a very honest and as close to unbiased as I can be.  This applies to a lot of things I've done, because while some things I've done quite well at, I would rarely be considered the "best".  I do feel that I can do many things quite well actually, though even typing that statement makes me feel a need to instantly retract it for fear of sounding like a narcissist.  In cards, the queen, king, and ace are all above the jack.  So being a jack-of-all-trades mean you may do well at many things, but excel at much fewer if any.

I believe that a good fundamental to have is to try to see things complexly, especially others and also yourself.  Sometimes I find I struggle to be happy with myself, and when I do it's because I'm often failing to see myself complexly.  For example, I still have apprehension to share my creations and thoughts, and I believe it is strongly related to my idea that I don't do anything well enough to really have it define me.  I'm not an artist, I'm not a scholar, I'm not a philosopher.  But you know what, I'm a human, and so is everyone else.  I have many friends that like and appreciate the things I do, so when I want to tell myself I don't have merit, maybe I should take a moment to respect their opinions.

Think On Everypony,
Alturiigo

Bringing Sexy Back

Back from where?  It went somewhere?  Was there a time that I'm unaware of in which people didn't think sexy was socially important?  

I feel like there's a lot more to be said on this, but to be honest I'm not even sure where to begin on that, or that it's something I even want to touch.  So maybe share your thoughts in comments, think for your own enjoyment, or just continue on your merry.

Trot On Everypony,

Alturiigo