I'll start by trying to frame what I mean by friendship and responsibility - the responsibility one may or may not feel towards keeping or maintaining a standing relationship. I've been thinking about this a fair bit since the 2016 US Presidential Campaign, in relation to posts about whether politics is something to lose a friendship over. A note here, I'm not interested in swaying you either way on this subject, as all things in life, you feel how you feel and it is simply up to you to understand your own feelings and your relationship to said feelings.
I've met a lot of people that I feel as though I like, or at least want to like as people, and often enough I will encounter something that's rather important to me which they have a conflicting opinion upon. It happens enough that sometimes I feel conflicted about how I should "see" them. I may generally get along with someone and eventually find myself in a conversation wherein defending my beliefs starts to encroach attacking their beliefs. I think this is an important point for me to look at, because it appears a bit like a threshold or clashing point between the importance/responsibility of friendship, against the importance/responsibility of my own beliefs.
I am also thus admittedly highly privileged, because I am much more able to pick and choose what battles I fight - generally nothing about who I am challenges the status quo as a straight white male. I'd like to have a separate more complex discussion of privilege and expectation, but I felt it was important and pertinent to mention it here.
Back to the subject at hand, I will take the time now to say that I believe you do not inherently have a responsibility to any friendship or relationship, because you need to evaluate said relationship. You have a responsibility to your own life, and the relationships you keep - or don't - fall into that responsibility. If you find yourself at a point with a friend where you don't want to think of them as a friend - listen to that, find out why, and decide if you truly want that relationship to be a part of your life. Ultimately, you are responsible for your own actions and choices, and the relationships you keep are one aspect of that responsibility.
Always know though, being able to pick your battles is a privilege, one of the greatest privileges to have.
Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Monday, April 17, 2017
Being Wrong
I've been wrong a lot in my life, and I've certainly made more than my fair share of mistakes(that's an interesting concept, a fair share of mistakes). I was always credited with being smart, and I know that for a lot of growing up I liked to know the right answer, and show that I knew it. One of the effects of this was an eagerness to let others know when they were wrong, and another effect was a reluctance to accept when I was wrong.
I always seemed to let myself feel attacked by the idea of not being right, whether it was right about some data/information/knowledge, or when my understanding of something was challenged, even when I was honestly in the wrong. I don't think it's hard to understand the urge to defend or excuse oneself, I have that same feeling.
I've hurt people unintentionally before, and because I wasn't trying to, my reflex is to excuse or defend myself. While defending yourself when attacked is a natural instinct, that doesn't always make it "right" or "correct" - I put those in quotes because they are admittedly subjective - and that's what I'd like to actually talk about, not defending yourself or making excuses.
I know it sounds holier-than-thou, which is a poor way to convey almost anything meaningful in my opinion, but in the same way I feel like on principle it's more like the opposite. I'm not saying that I always am right or that I do the right thing, far from it - but I've grown a lot more willing to try to understand the ways in which I am incorrect, or how I might be misunderstanding something. I want to think of myself as someone who sees the world complexly, and that makes it hard to accept the idea that maybe, I'm as narrow-minded and as much of a bigot as anyone else.
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but I'm always trying to be better, and I know that slowly learning to accept when I wrong without simply excusing myself has helped me to learn a lot. One of the biggest things that's helped though is a lot of friends whom I cared deeply about, taking the time to help me understand things from beyond my limited perspective and experiences. Because I trusted them and their opinion, it helped me to accept it a little easier.
It's hard to accept when I'm not the person I'd like to think I am, but it is also the only way I can ever hope become that person. The more that I've accepted I could be wrong, the closer I can bring myself to being right. Well, that's the idea anyway.
Trot On Everypony
Alturiigo
I always seemed to let myself feel attacked by the idea of not being right, whether it was right about some data/information/knowledge, or when my understanding of something was challenged, even when I was honestly in the wrong. I don't think it's hard to understand the urge to defend or excuse oneself, I have that same feeling.
I've hurt people unintentionally before, and because I wasn't trying to, my reflex is to excuse or defend myself. While defending yourself when attacked is a natural instinct, that doesn't always make it "right" or "correct" - I put those in quotes because they are admittedly subjective - and that's what I'd like to actually talk about, not defending yourself or making excuses.
I know it sounds holier-than-thou, which is a poor way to convey almost anything meaningful in my opinion, but in the same way I feel like on principle it's more like the opposite. I'm not saying that I always am right or that I do the right thing, far from it - but I've grown a lot more willing to try to understand the ways in which I am incorrect, or how I might be misunderstanding something. I want to think of myself as someone who sees the world complexly, and that makes it hard to accept the idea that maybe, I'm as narrow-minded and as much of a bigot as anyone else.
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but I'm always trying to be better, and I know that slowly learning to accept when I wrong without simply excusing myself has helped me to learn a lot. One of the biggest things that's helped though is a lot of friends whom I cared deeply about, taking the time to help me understand things from beyond my limited perspective and experiences. Because I trusted them and their opinion, it helped me to accept it a little easier.
It's hard to accept when I'm not the person I'd like to think I am, but it is also the only way I can ever hope become that person. The more that I've accepted I could be wrong, the closer I can bring myself to being right. Well, that's the idea anyway.
Trot On Everypony
Alturiigo
Monday, April 3, 2017
What's The Point? Thoughts On Life
What is the meaning of life? - A question that often feels high-minded and silly to discuss, I've always found it an interesting question. What IS the meaning of life? Firstly, I think the question itself is flawed and vague - but I still like to explore it. There are myriad of perspectives or scopes to think about, and since everyone has their own concept of what their life is and means, there is a different answer for every person. That being said, here are some of my thoughts on the matter.
I like to think about it in different ways, one of which is to think about it as a goal - what is the goal of life? I suppose from there it goes into personal goals, or perhaps goal of existence - as in what are we meant to accomplish? This one feels super tricky, probably because it's easy to see that there is no one clear-cut answer. One issue with this is agency - does the ability to do something confer right or responsibility? Sometimes I think about how much humanity seems to shape its environment to fit its needs, rather than working harder to find a balance or shape itself differently in many cases. I'm not sure I could argue that humans should be living as hunter-gatherers in small communities either though, and the things we have accomplished as a species/civilization is astounding- in both a positive and negative way. It seems pretty safe to argue that humanity has made a lot of progress in our time on Earth, but that can really depend on what you call progress. I find this highlighted when thinking about genetic engineering, which is not too far in the future. There are many things that can be improved or "fixed" by our standards, but should that necessarily be called progress? When we discovered the ability to use atomic reactions to create incredible energy and then made a bomb with it, was that progress? Due to the nature of "progress" as a concept, it really boils down to the person using it to describe something. Maybe thinking about the goal of human life is a bad thought-cloud, so let's hop to the personal goals cloud.
What is the goal of life? Is it a goal like a target or finish line, or maybe more like a checklist? Is it in the journey, or the destination? What would you call success? Power? Wealth? Happiness? Is life a means, or an end? I think these are important questions to consider, and even these small questions are open to a lot of personal interpretation. For me, I find myself most drawn to the feeling that it is more in the journey, that finding what makes you happy is one of the most important things, and being true to yourself. I also think that the journey is one of self-discovery, and the being true to yourself involves a lot of trying to figure out how you really feel, and being honest with yourself. I have all these thoughts about the person I am and want to be, I think it's best to sum up by saying - I hope that I can be the person I want to be, and that that person is a good human being, whatever that truly means.
One last way I'd like to talk about the idea of life and existence having a meaning, and that's in thoughts about consciousness and self. Something that's always been interesting to me is the idea of quantifying consciousness, a quest for something tangible and scientific which we can call our "self" as individuals. When you think about anatomy and physiology, it kind of boils down into electrical signals and a big fleshy machine partially ran by bacteria and a big ol' mess of neurons, so what in, about or around that is us. I mean, I know that I am me, at least, I'm pretty sure, and you probably feel rather confident that you are you. Our ideas about self have grown past just your irl self I think, and I don't think that it's a trend new to humanity.
In our quest to explain how we are different than animals, which we are by general definition, I think we start to see some of our ideas about consciousness and identity. As a species, we are pretty good at identifying and recognizing things, looking for patterns and structure, and determining differences. Our search to better understand what makes us different than "animals" is an expression of that trait in humans, at least in my opinion. Our ability to recognize faces has only recently been able to be matched by computers, and mostly in specific conditions, and the ability to recognize that the image in a mirror is your own is actually something much more human. We hear and see things and are able to recognize things, like the sound of a band or style of a painter. These are patterns that we create though, but we do try to find patterns in life through science as well. As far as a point, I'm not sure there is one - except the one that we create. We've created the patterns that we see in the world in our quest to understand and explain life, and so the only point is to continue to create patterns and structures to understand it.
It's not a question with a singular answer, or really any "answer", because the question of "What is the meaning of life?" is flawed, both by being too vague and hinging upon a highly subjective concept. The best that I can boil down my thoughts on that matter would be to say - The meaning of life is to be experienced, to feel, to try, to fail, to succeed - Life is to be lived, it is a means to its own end, a journey which is the destination, and endless stream of metaphors and comparisons....
I'll just let myself out, til next time-
Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo
I like to think about it in different ways, one of which is to think about it as a goal - what is the goal of life? I suppose from there it goes into personal goals, or perhaps goal of existence - as in what are we meant to accomplish? This one feels super tricky, probably because it's easy to see that there is no one clear-cut answer. One issue with this is agency - does the ability to do something confer right or responsibility? Sometimes I think about how much humanity seems to shape its environment to fit its needs, rather than working harder to find a balance or shape itself differently in many cases. I'm not sure I could argue that humans should be living as hunter-gatherers in small communities either though, and the things we have accomplished as a species/civilization is astounding- in both a positive and negative way. It seems pretty safe to argue that humanity has made a lot of progress in our time on Earth, but that can really depend on what you call progress. I find this highlighted when thinking about genetic engineering, which is not too far in the future. There are many things that can be improved or "fixed" by our standards, but should that necessarily be called progress? When we discovered the ability to use atomic reactions to create incredible energy and then made a bomb with it, was that progress? Due to the nature of "progress" as a concept, it really boils down to the person using it to describe something. Maybe thinking about the goal of human life is a bad thought-cloud, so let's hop to the personal goals cloud.
What is the goal of life? Is it a goal like a target or finish line, or maybe more like a checklist? Is it in the journey, or the destination? What would you call success? Power? Wealth? Happiness? Is life a means, or an end? I think these are important questions to consider, and even these small questions are open to a lot of personal interpretation. For me, I find myself most drawn to the feeling that it is more in the journey, that finding what makes you happy is one of the most important things, and being true to yourself. I also think that the journey is one of self-discovery, and the being true to yourself involves a lot of trying to figure out how you really feel, and being honest with yourself. I have all these thoughts about the person I am and want to be, I think it's best to sum up by saying - I hope that I can be the person I want to be, and that that person is a good human being, whatever that truly means.
One last way I'd like to talk about the idea of life and existence having a meaning, and that's in thoughts about consciousness and self. Something that's always been interesting to me is the idea of quantifying consciousness, a quest for something tangible and scientific which we can call our "self" as individuals. When you think about anatomy and physiology, it kind of boils down into electrical signals and a big fleshy machine partially ran by bacteria and a big ol' mess of neurons, so what in, about or around that is us. I mean, I know that I am me, at least, I'm pretty sure, and you probably feel rather confident that you are you. Our ideas about self have grown past just your irl self I think, and I don't think that it's a trend new to humanity.
In our quest to explain how we are different than animals, which we are by general definition, I think we start to see some of our ideas about consciousness and identity. As a species, we are pretty good at identifying and recognizing things, looking for patterns and structure, and determining differences. Our search to better understand what makes us different than "animals" is an expression of that trait in humans, at least in my opinion. Our ability to recognize faces has only recently been able to be matched by computers, and mostly in specific conditions, and the ability to recognize that the image in a mirror is your own is actually something much more human. We hear and see things and are able to recognize things, like the sound of a band or style of a painter. These are patterns that we create though, but we do try to find patterns in life through science as well. As far as a point, I'm not sure there is one - except the one that we create. We've created the patterns that we see in the world in our quest to understand and explain life, and so the only point is to continue to create patterns and structures to understand it.
It's not a question with a singular answer, or really any "answer", because the question of "What is the meaning of life?" is flawed, both by being too vague and hinging upon a highly subjective concept. The best that I can boil down my thoughts on that matter would be to say - The meaning of life is to be experienced, to feel, to try, to fail, to succeed - Life is to be lived, it is a means to its own end, a journey which is the destination, and endless stream of metaphors and comparisons....
I'll just let myself out, til next time-
Trot On Everypony,
Alturiigo
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