Being Wrong

I've been wrong a lot in my life, and I've certainly made more than my fair share of mistakes(that's an interesting concept, a fair share of mistakes).  I was always credited with being smart, and I know that for a lot of growing up I liked to know the right answer, and show that I knew it.  One of the effects of this was an eagerness to let others know when they were wrong, and another effect was a reluctance to accept when I was wrong.

I always seemed to let myself feel attacked by the idea of not being right, whether it was right about some data/information/knowledge, or when my understanding of something was challenged, even when I was honestly in the wrong.  I don't think it's hard to understand the urge to defend or excuse oneself, I have that same feeling.
I've hurt people unintentionally before, and because I wasn't trying to, my reflex is to excuse or defend myself.  While defending yourself when attacked is a natural instinct, that doesn't always make it "right" or "correct" - I put those in quotes because they are admittedly subjective - and that's what I'd like to actually talk about, not defending yourself or making excuses.

I know it sounds holier-than-thou, which is a poor way to convey almost anything meaningful in my opinion, but in the same way I feel like on principle it's more like the opposite.  I'm not saying that I always am right or that I do the right thing, far from it - but I've grown a lot more willing to try to understand the ways in which I am incorrect, or how I might be misunderstanding something.  I want to think of myself as someone who sees the world complexly, and that makes it hard to accept the idea that maybe, I'm as narrow-minded and as much of a bigot as anyone else.

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but I'm always trying to be better, and I know that slowly learning to accept when I wrong without simply excusing myself has helped me to learn a lot.  One of the biggest things that's helped though is a lot of friends whom I cared deeply about, taking the time to help me understand things from beyond my limited perspective and experiences.  Because I trusted them and their opinion, it helped me to accept it a little easier.

It's hard to accept when I'm not the person I'd like to think I am, but it is also the only way I can ever hope become that person.  The more that I've accepted I could be wrong, the closer I can bring myself to being right.  Well, that's the idea anyway.

Trot On Everypony
Alturiigo